naked and unashamed

Have you ever touched yourself in front of your husband or wife.

No, I don’t mean when they walk in on you masturbating. I mean deliberate self touch to arouse or heighten sexual desire in your partner.

I find that just the thought of this makes some people feel uncomfortable and embarrassed. That feeling of discomfort or embarrassment most often comes from a place of being embarrassed to touch our bodies.

Right from childhood, we are dissuaded from connecting with our genitals. We are told it’s dirty and bad and unfortunately, a lifetime of programming doesn’t change overnight.

If this is you, know that it is totally okay to start gradually.

Try reconnecting with your body via platonic touch. Your hands, legs, belly etc and gradually move to touching other areas like your breasts, pussy or cock platonically.

If on the other hand, the issue is being embarrassed to do it in front of your spouse, you could have them lead the way by telling him/her you would like to see and learn the kind of touch that gives them pleasure.

Watch them touch and as you get more comfortable, return the favour.

Asides being a very visually stimulating exercise, it’s also a learning experience that I personally believe couples should take advantage of.

Talk about being Naked and Unashamed!

Once you feel more comfortable with self touch in front of your partner, you can employ it during foreplay to turn the heat up.

If you are a man, stroke yourself while watching your wife touch her breasts or finger herself. I guarantee you, you’ll be all over her before she can say Jack Robinson ( Why do people say that by the way? Why Jack Robinson, why not Jackie Chan, Harrison Ford or Ramsey Noah?)

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If you are a woman who is turned on by visuals, the sight of your man stroking his cock to erection will make you want to bury him deeply inside you.

Either way, you both get to have fun.

Will you be trying this?

P.S If you still aren’t comfortable with this, you don’t have to do it. Sex should be enjoyable for you, not distressing.

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Photo by EVREN AYDIN on Unsplash


The author olawunmiesan

Olawunmi Esan is Nigeria’s leading Sex Therapist and Coach. She is a trained Psychologist and certified Sex Therapist, who helps Couples and Individuals enjoy Mind-Blowing Sex.