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Sex While Fasting

Before I proceed, I would like to say, these views are mine and as such are not binding on anyone else.

What better time to tackle this controversial topic than when many churches are observing their annual fast?

The topic of whether or not to have sex during fasting periods is one that rears its head now and again. And it goes without saying that this topic refers to married couples, not singles.

The first thing I want to talk about is the power of AGREEMENT. Regardless of whatever belief a married couple has about sex during fasting, if husband and wife are on the same page and have AGREED to stick to a script, then there is absolutely no problem.

The reason why this topic is such a headache (pardon me) is because it causes discord between married couples especially in cases where husband and wife have different opinions about what should be done.

Personally, I would have sex after I break my fast. If I nourish my body with food to break my fast, at some point (even if it’s not every day) my libido will need its own nourishment. I understand that the period of fasting is to focus on prayer and put the flesh under control but like I said, when said flesh is released (by eating), I see absolutely nothing wrong with having sex when my fast is broken.

Which technically means that if I were on a 3 day dry fast (where I eat nothing all through), my libido will also not be fed. This, of course, will be done in agreement with my husband.

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I know some people believe that having sex during the fasting period, even after the fast is broken, is not permitted. I respect their beliefs but I strongly feel that such people perceive sex as being either a dirty deed or an act of indiscipline. Which is why it seems sacrilegious for them to engage in it within the duration of a fasting period.

Sex is holy. Sex is a form of worship. Sex and intimacy in marriage are supposed to be a mirror image of the kind of intimacy God wants to have with us. Being intimate to the point that your bodies literally become one while making love is tantamount to reaffirming God’s word when he said a man would leave his parents to cling to his wife and the two would become one.  You don’t automatically become one on the day of your wedding. “Becoming” is a process that happens in the course of the marriage and one of those processes includes intimacy.

However, to each man his own, and like I earlier said, if a couple are in AGREEMENT, whether they decide to break their fast with sex or abstain for the entire period, it is absolutely fine.

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olawunmiesan

The author olawunmiesan

Olawunmi Esan is a Marriage and Sex Coach who helps couples optimize the power of their sexuality within marriage.
  • Eric Acheampong

    very well written. i do agree with most of your position. The challenge is, sex is mostly a fleshly act and hence one gets ‘disconnected’ spiritually at the point of making love. That is my experience. You cannot be praying or studying the word and have sex. Bottom line is its about agreement between couples