The Power Of Erotic Talk

The Power Of Erotic Talk

One of the most underrated ways of provoking sexual arousal in your spouse is by using your words erotically.
Not only is it underrated, many people find it awkward to speak erotic words … plain and simple.

How do I bring myself to say things to my husband about his penis or his body or what I want in bed?

How do I bring myself to tell my wife what I want to do to her body?

Let’s face it. We have grown up with the mindset of sex being such a taboo that even when we are married and expected to enjoy great sex, letting go of that mindset is difficult. Whether or not you believe it, there are people who think sex is merely for procreation not an act to be enjoyed thoroughly.

Bearing this in mind, the reluctance to try new things sexually is understandable but not permissible in my books. I refuse to allow you settle for a mediocre sex life when you should be enjoying a beautiful and explosive sex life.

Back to our Erotic talk. Some people call it dirty talk but I disagree, simply because I do not believe that sex is a dirty act. Sex is beautiful and thoroughly pleasurable.

Back to that mindset. To enable yourself enjoy sex in its totality, you need to shed your negative mindset and cultivate a positive mindset about sex. If your negative perception of sex persists, it will be almost impossible to enjoy it.

How can you talk sexy when you think sex is bad or dirty? How can you vocalize your sexual needs when you don’t feel right about having such needs in the first place?

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The first and most important step you need to take is to replace that negative mindset with a positive one.

It’s high time you realized that sex within marriage is God’s gift to you and your spouse.
Denying yourself of that enjoyment is tantamount to rejecting God’s gift.

Be gracious. Accept the gift whole heartedly and get down to understanding how best to use that gift. Once the negative mindset is shed. The rest should be easy.

Erotic talk doesn’t have to be porn star rated or crude, if you get what I mean.

Talking sexy can be as simple as telling your spouse what you want him/her to do to you sexually.

For instance,  ‘I want you to make love to me when we get back from work tonight’

Words as simple as that could get your spouse aroused and looking forward to after work hours. Not because he/she has never made love to you but because of how erotic and inviting it sounds when you actually say the words.

It could also be as simple as telling your spouse what you intend to do to them sexually right before you do it.

‘I’m going to start by licking your ears and kissing your neck before slowly moving to your sweet lips. My hands will follow the trail of my lips as I move from your lips to the curve of your shoulders to your breasts, your tummy, your bum and finally your honey pot’

Or it could simply be telling your spouse how you feel in the heat of passion. This will help them know what they are doing right and exactly how to keep hitting the right notes with you.

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‘I love the feeling of being inside you, you feel so tight and warm’

‘It feels good when you move like that, don’t stop. I’m almost there’

There are countless ways you can bring in erotic talk, and the great thing is that you don’t need a PhD in sexology to do it!

In communication, it is said that your tone and body language carry far more weight than the actual words you speak. Erotic talk is no different.

Your tone and body language are very crucial to the effectiveness of your sexy talk. Trying to talk sexy in a comedic tone of voice for instance, probably wouldn’t do much to arouse your spouse.

In the same vein, telling your spouse how you intend to pleasure them while being distracted by your phone screen would probably annoy rather than please them because your body language conveys a different message.

The tone of your voice, your body language and your words need to be in sync for you to strike the chords of arousal in your spouse.

So TAKE ACTION today. Embrace the power of the Erotic talk and enjoy the new dimensions it adds to your sex life.

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The author olawunmiesan

Olawunmi Esan is a Sex Therapist and Coach who helps Married Couples take Sexual Intimacy from Routine to Mond-Blowing.