How To Give A Sensual Massage

sensual massage

Massages are a great way to connect intimately with your spouse without necessarily having intercourse.

Hands connecting with every part of the body creates an unparalleled awareness of the body’s response to touch. You see, when you give your spouse a massage, you are fully immersed in the process and are able to observe their reactions to your touch and understand better what turns them on.

In addition to that, it is also a great way to help your spouse relax and ease into whatever may come afterwards.

Where to start.

You can either let your spouse know that he (please ignore my use of the male pronoun, this can also be done by a husband for his wife) will be in for a ‘massage treat’ or you could spring it on him as a surprise. I leave that entirely to you.

Create the ambience you desire in the place where the massage will take place. You need a serene environment devoid of distractions, so remember to either switch off your phone or put it on airplane mode.

Light up your scented candles to get a soft and subtle fragrance in the air. Dim the lights to create a romantic feel in the room (The scented candles will also lend their light).

Get your massage oil ready by placing the bottle in a bowl of hot water to warm it up a bit. If you do not have a massage oil, coconut oil will do just fine.

You can have some soft and sensual music, that will enhance the atmosphere and experience, playing in the background. I recommend that you have a playlist of songs your phone for ease of access.

Make sure the temperature of the room is just right. You don’t want a hot room or an ice palace.

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Get the massage table or bed ready. If you don’t want to stain the sheets with massage oil, you can put an extra sheet or a towel for him to lie on.

Have a table or bedside stool where you can place the massage oil and/or a small hand towel close by, so that you can easily reach for it during the massage.

Once the atmosphere is created, you are ready to begin.

Given that you will be using a massage oil on the body, it can get uncomfortable and irritating for your spouse if his body does not feel clean enough to receive more oil. So I recommend a quick warm water shower for him before you commence the massage.

As a matter of fact, I recommend that you also have a shower ahead of time to ensure you also feel clean. However, if the plan is to shower together, that’s also fine.

After the shower, take control and towel dry your spouse. What you want to do is keep some moisture on his body to allow for a smooth application of the massage oil, so don’t wipe him totally dry.

By this time, he is in the massage room with you and is taking in the ambience you have created.

Ask him to lie face down on the bed and let him get comfortable. You can place a thickly folded towel under his head for support and comfort.

Once he feels comfortable enough. It’s time for you to run the show.

You can either stand by the side of the bed to proceed or straddle his hips, so that there is some body contact between you both.

Get the massage oil. Make sure it’s warm, not hot. Pour a generous amount into your hands and rub it on your palms and the back of your hands. You want to make sure your hands are sufficiently lubricated and feel smooth.

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Rub your hands together, drizzle some oil on his back and proceed with a firm but gentle touch.

You could start massaging from the neck and then move to the shoulders. Try to alternate the motions of your hands. Try circular motions, kneading movements and up and down movements.

When you need to replenish the oil, try to ensure that your hands do not leave his body for too long a time.

From his shoulders, move to his back. Make sure not to leave out his sides. While massaging his back, try to take note of areas that seem tense and massage them as well.

Move down to his buttocks (try not to bite it….lol) and massage them. If he seems to get aroused from that, move on down to his thigh. You don’t want things to get heated too soon.

After his thigh, massage his leg and foot, taking care to spend a little time on his toes. Repeat with the other leg.

Once you are done, you can ask him to flip over and repeat the massage, just like you did on his backside.

If your spouse has a part of his body that tickles, try not to spend much time there so as to help you both focus on the massage.

Tease him a bit by massaging his entire frontal area without touching his penis. When you are done giving the frontal massage down to his toes. You can then work your way back to his genital area. If you are a husband doing this for your wife, try to avoid her nipples, vagina and any other erogenous zones while massaging her frontal area, you’ll get back to that after you are done with the massage.

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However, if the massage was not meant to include sex, you can end the session after the full frontal massage. If on the other hand, it was meant to lead to some hanky panky, then by all means, continue.

Tease him a bit more by massaging on his inner thighs. Alternating your strokes on his inner thighs between firm and feather light strokes. You can graze his penis ‘mistakenly’ if you like but don’t go for it just yet.

At this point, he’s probably aching for you to touch his penis. Tease him just a little bit more and then, you can go for gold.

At this point, it’s up to you to finish the massage whichever way you desire. You could decide to massage his penis with your hands first, followed your mouth and then move to intercourse (same applies to a husband giving his wife) or he could return the favor by giving you a massage and you finish up both massage sessions with intercourse.

It’s all up to you.

What is most important is that both the giver and receiver enjoy the pleasurable process of the massage.

Do give it a try and let me know how it goes in the comments section below.

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The author olawunmiesan

Olawunmi Esan is a Sex Therapist and Coach who helps Married Couples take Sexual Intimacy from Routine to Mond-Blowing.